I hated this book and loved this book by Alice Sebold. I had nightmares the entire time I was reading it and sleep did not come easy like it ususally does after I read at night. I have always feared that one of my children will die before me. I can't imagine losing a child through death let alone a violent death. As a mother, my life for the last 24 years have revolved around keeping my children healthy, safe and happy. I have failed at times but they know that no matter what I have tried to do my best and love them more than anything. My son is in the Air Force and I could get that visit at any time. When he decided to join I was overjoyed with his decision but also fearful for the fact that he could get killed in action. He told me not to worry because he was not afraid to die doing something positive with his life. While that helped me some it still will not take away the pain should it ever happen. I have always felt that those left on earth were the ones mourning a death but this book showed me that maybe that might not be true. We really don't know. When I got divorced from my children's father I thought death might have been easier for us all but after reading this book I am not so sure. No matter what the lose it is always painful and a healing process must take place.
I am a bit of a control freak and during this book I just wanted to reach in and say let it go, but that is not always the right way. The characters had to each go through their own growth and transformation to get back to where they really wanted to be. Abigail had died a slow death before when she was not able to follow her dreams after becoming pregnant with Susie. With Susie's death came a guilt that she could not handle so she chose to heal by leaving and not burdening her family at that time with her guilt and healing. What she didn't know was that she made it more difficult for everyone including herself by running away. When she did finally come back she could finally face her life and transgressions by receiving the love and forgiveness of her family.
I could relate to Jack. I have said countless times, "There's no choice... What else can I do?" just as Jack did. (279) I could see myself in all the characters at different times of my life and in different situations. I think that is what this author did best. She made each character an individual that we as humans can relate to in a given situation. Maybe that it why it was so disturbing to me. If I would have been reading this for pleasure I probably would have stopped after a few chapters because I was not "enjoying" it. But I am glad that I had to continue reading it because it did truly make me think about myself and those I love and death. I plan on sharing this with my son and his wife. I am not sure my daughter is ready for it yet.
Three Gentlemen
10 years ago
3 comments:
As you pointed out in your posting; Jack had no choice but to stay and deal with his grief at home. After Abigail left, he was forced to be everything to the kids, at least until the grandmother moved in to help. Abigail’s response to the situation was difficult to accept. As I read the book, I could not help but feel her betrayal was unforgivable. Not only did the rest of the family lose Susie in such a tragic manner, but then they lost Abigail as well.
I am sure you are very proud of your son and I congratulate you on raising such an upstanding citizen. We have all had family or friends involved in the military and as proud of them as we are; we will always worry about their safety and wish they were home safe with us.
It is every parents nightmare; to lose a child before they die. Children are supposed to out live their parents. We all fear for our kids - anything could happen at anytime. We can only hope that we taught them everything that they need to know and tell them that we love them daily. But as we see terrible things do happen even when we take all the precaustions. We see this throughtout the book. And we also see the different ways people go through the grieving process. I felt bad when Abgail left and left the family to get through this terrible time on their own. Jack did the best he could.
I understand your love/hate connection to this book! :)
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